[As told by Sir Dafyd ap Gwilliam to the assembled knights of King Vitalex in the Great Hall, Bridgetown, on Midwinter's Eve in the Year of our Lord 475, with minor editorial emendations.]
In view of the weddings that we are celebrating tonight, I thought it would be appropriate to tell you the story of my great-great-great-great-great grandfather Teran ap Hobin, and how he won his beautiful bride.
Now Teran lived in the village of Llanoch-llyn (my home village, as a matter of fact) and he was head over heels in love with Delyth, the eldest daughter of Dai-lin, the village smith. Nor was he the only one, for all the men of Llanoch-llyn loved Delyth, who was the most beautiful woman in the village. Her waist was as thin as a sapling, her hair as dark and shiny as blackbird feathers, her eyes were as grey as the sea, and her breasts as full and round as the twin tumuli of King Badoch...
But Teran was more determined than most. He was young and handsome, and had a grip so strong that once he took hold of something it could never escape. Indeed, it is said that once in his youth he had caught a bear by its tail and was dragged along behind it for three days and nights before it gave in and died. He was also the son of a village elder, and so Dai-lin looked upon his suit with favour.
Thus one fine spring day, Teran and Delyth went for a walk in the woods accompanied by Delyth's sister Arianwyn, who alas was as plain as her sister was beautiful. There Teran proposed marriage to Delyth.
And Delyth gazed at Teran with her beautiful eyes and said:
"Why, Terry darling, of course I'll marry you. But on one teensy-weensy condition."
"What is that, my love?"
"You must bring me three feathers from the tail of the Guily Bird for my wedding day. For it is said that a maiden who wears three feathers of the Guily Bird becomes the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom."
"But you are already the most beautiful girl in the village!" said Teran.
"That's not enough!" snapped Delyth. "I want to be still more beautiful! And don't you want to be married to the fairest girl in the Kingdom, Terry darling?" And she fluttered her eyelashes at him.
Well, of course, the poor love-struck youth had no choice but to accede to her request. So he sought out Dai-lin, who being a smith was wise in the ways of the world, and asked him where the Guily Bird might be found.
"I don't know," the smith replied. "The Guily Bird is a reclusive creature. Ask at the Convocation of Birds."
"How do I find that?" asked Teran.
"Just follow the flights of the birds in the sky. But if they should take you to the north-west, beware - for there dwell the men of Gorgorin, whose ways have become corrupted by their alliance with the accursed - um -" [here Dafyd looked nervously at King Vitalex and his son, dressed in their ceremonial Roman togas] "foreign invader. Woe betide any traveller who should fall among them."
So Teran packed some food and some clothes, and set out on his journey. Just as he left the village, he heard rapid footsteps behind him. He turned to see Delyth's sister Arianwyn come running, holding a wooden whistle with strange zig-zag incisions like lightning.
"Father said you were to have this," said Arianwyn, handing the whistle to him. "It summons the Thunder God, who may help you. But you must only use it if in direst need, for the God will be angry if he is summoned unnecessarily." And she turned and darted away, not pausing even to hear his thanks.
Then Teran looked into the sky and saw an arrow of geese flying north. So north he went. And the next day he saw a lark swooping low over the grass of a water meadow. And the day after that a stately swan swimming up a river. Thus was Teran led high into the mountains, always going north. Many days he travelled, and very footsore and weary he became. But he bore it all for love of Delyth.
At length, a hovering red kite led him to a secluded valley in which stood a huge oak, lightning-blasted and dead. Hundreds of holes had been bored into the wood, and in and out of them hopped and fluttered all manner of birds - wood pigeons, song-thrushes, bitterns, sparrows, starlings, robin redbreasts, swallows, martlets, black birds, jays, magpies, chaffinches, yellowhammers, wrens and doves. Now when the birds saw Teran, with a great screeching they took to the air and mobbed him. Blinded and forced to his hands and knees, he crawled forward until a huge pair of talons blocked his path. Looking up he saw an enormous eagle, as tall as a man and wearing a golden crown on its head, glaring down at him with beady eyes.
"I am the King of the Birds and the leader of their Convocation. What are you doing in my domain, human?"
"I - um - come to seek the whereabouts of the Guily Bird, your Majesty," said Teran, looking nervously at the eagle's great hooked beak. "For I must bring back three of its feathers to my beloved if I am to marry her."
"Well, human, know that your presence here is perilous. My subjects are angry. Your kind lures them into traps with cunning baits, then kills them and eats them. The cats that you keep take our chicks as soon as they hatch and the young ones of your species steal our eggs. For these crimes they demand justice!"
"But we also provide food in the winter when your subjects might starve, and permit them to nest in the thatch of our houses," replied Teran. "And are not our actions and those of our animals the will of the Gods? After all, it is by their leave that raptors such as your good self may feast on the flesh of lesser birds."
The King of the Birds squawked several times. "Your points are well made, human, and that you should dare to make your final remark shows, at least, that you have the courage of an eagle. Very well, then, this is my judgement. My subjects wish to be revenged upon you for your species' treatment of them. Accept their punishment, and I shall aid you in your quest. If you refuse, you must leave at once."
"What will the punishment be?" asked Teran.
"You shall see."
"Will I be harmed?"
"Harmed, no. Humiliated, yes."
"Very well, then. I accept."
Then the King of the Birds gave a great cry, and hundreds of the birds that are eaten by man took to the air. Circling round, one by one they dived towards Teran. He ducked, and as he did so he felt something wet and sticky hit his head. And then another. And another.
In this way did the birds of the Convocation show what they thought of humans. And when they had finished, a ten-foot pile of bird guano stood by the blasted oak with our poor hero underneath it. But Teran, gritting his teeth, bore this humiliation, for love of Delyth.
And after he had crawled out from under the mound, white and slimy and stinking, the King of the Birds said to him, "Well, human, you have bourne the punishment of my subjects. Know, then, that there is but one Guily Bird, and that it has its nest at the topmost pinnacle of the most unclimbable mountain in Snowdonia. Only those with wings may reach it."
"So my quest is impossible!" cried Teran in dismay. "I shall never marry my beloved Delyth, with her eyes as grey as stone, her lips as red as holly berries, her hair as black as night, her breasts as round as..."
"There is one chance," interrupted the King of the Birds. "You may be able to catch it while it is feeding."
"Thank the gods! But how may I find it?"
"The colours of its tail are so bright that they dye the very air through which it flies, creating what you humans call a rainbow. So find the end of a rainbow before it is washed away by the rain, and you will find the Guily Bird. But I fear that it will not surrender its feathers willingly. For the wounds made when the feathers are plucked do not heal, and the bird dies."
"Truly?" asked Teran in amazement.
"Yes. Why do you think there's only one left?"
So, after thanking the King of the Birds, Teran set off into the mountains to look for a rainbow. At length he came upon a mountain stream, swollen by floods, rushing and bubbling to the sea. As he was deciding how to cross it, a young and handsome dark-haired man went sweeping past him, shouting for help. At once Teran raced along the bank until he came to a tree with a branch overhanging the flood. Grabbing it, he leaned out and caught hold of the drowning man in his mighty grip. But suddenly the branch he was hanging from gave way and both Teran and the stranger fell with a great splash into the water. Together they were sent spinning and bobbing downstream, and many miles it was before Teran could catch hold of a boulder and pull them both to the bank. At least all the guano was washed off him.
As they wrung the water from their clothes, the stranger thanked Teran for saving his life and introduced himself as Aled ap Huin.
"So where are you from, my friend?" he asked Teran.
"My home is Llanoch-llyn," Teran replied. "I am looking for the Guily Bird, that I may bring back three feathers for my lady love."
"And is she beautiful, this love of yours?" asked Aled.
"Why yes, she's the fairest girl in the village. Her complexion is pink as a rose, her skin as soft as spiders silk, her smile as bright as a sunbeam..."
"Well, that is a coincidence!" interrupted Aled. "Llanoch-llyn was the very place that I was going to when I fell in that stream!"
"You are? Could you take a message to Delyth, daughter of Dai-Lin the smith? Tell her that Teran ap Hobin sends her his love and will be back very soon."
"Delyth, you say? Yes, of course. Now, I must be on my way..."
"You haven't seen any rainbows around here, by any chance?"
"I think there was down there somewhere," said Aled, pointing to a path that led downstream. "Oh, my village lies that way. Tell them that Aled sent you, and they will bid you welcome. Farewell."
"What an ungrateful wretch!" said Teran to himself as he took the path that Aled had indicated. "He might have given me half his possessions, that I might deck my Delyth in finery. Still, perhaps his kinfolk will reward me."
All day Teran travelled without seeing the slightest sign of a rainbow. At length, as the sun was setting behind the mountains, he came in sight of a beautiful thatched village set in a wooded valley. And the men of this village were as handsome as Teran himself, and the women rivalled even Delyth in beauty. Teran made his way to the village green, gawping at the fine buildings, and tapped an old man on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, but is this the village of Aled ap Huin?"
"Not only is this his village, but I am his father! So you know my son?"
"Yes, I rescued him this very day when he was drowning in a stream."
"You saved my son? Why thank you! Thank you!" said Huin enthusiastically. "We must have a feast and a sacrifice in your honour. I declare a celebration!"
The villagers cheered and set up a great bonfire in front of a large square building with wooden pillars along its front, the like of which Teran had never seen before.
"What is that building?" he asked Huin as the celebrations were beginning.
"Why that?" said Huin. "It's our, um, storehouse. Where we put our animals at night. Now do try some of this roast deer, it's absolutely delicious..."
And great were the feasting and the dancing that evening. Teran became extremely drunk, for the ale, though pale and watery with an odd fruity taste, was much stronger than it seemed. So drunk, indeed, that he completely forgot about Delyth, and danced all evening with a beautiful maiden of the village by the name of Shona. At length the hour of midnight approached.
"Shouldn't we be preparing for the shacrifishe?" he asked Shona as they wondered away from the fire, his arm around her waist.
"Why, we are prepared," she said.
"Oh. What'sh the shacrifishe to be, then?"
"You, of course," said Shona, and the villagers seized him and bound his arms behind him.
"You can't do this!" shouted Hobin. "I'm not willing! The sacrifice will be worthless!"
"Not to the gods of Gorgorin..." said Shona.
The villagers took Teran into the square building and fastened him in a human-shaped wicker cage that stood atop a pile of kindling. Then they donned robes of long dyed cloth that they wrapped over and around themselves, and leather sandals and golden masks with leering, inhuman faces.
When all was prepared, Huin mounted the kindling and said, "Have you any last requests before we free your soul to be eaten by the god of death?"
Teran thought quickly and remembered the gift that Arianwyn had given him. "I have a flute that my beloved Delyth gave me when we parted. Let me just play it just once more, that I may think of her as I go into death."
"This one?" asked Huin, pulling the flute from Teran's pocket.
"Yes."
"Hmmm. Funny design it's got on it." Huin snapped the flute in two and dropped the pieces on the kindling. "Light the fire! Let the sacrifice commence!" A dozen torches were shoved into the kindling, the villagers began a strange discordant chant, and Teran despairingly prepared to suffer even death for love of Delyth.
But it was not to be. For the mouthpiece of the flute had fallen pointing downwards, and the wind, fleeing from the fire as it is wont to do, passed through it. An eerie throbbing note filled the air, stilling the chant of the death god worshippers. Then a great thunderbolt split the roof of the temple asunder, and through the opening came sheets of rain that quenched the fire instantly. Lightning bolts sizzled out of the sky upon the fleeing villagers as the Thunder God, furious that rites sacred to him should be twisted to the worship of another god, took his revenge on the corrupt people of Gorgorin. Not a single one of them did he spare, save only my ancestor, safe within his wet wicker cage.
Towards dawn, the storm abated. Teran wriggled out of the cage and staggered into the wood, the rain still pouring on his head. As the sun was rising, he came to the top of a rocky valley and there, shining against the grey clouds, was a rainbow!
Excitedly, Teran followed the rainbow as it arched down into the valley. As he approached its end, he saw a haze of irridescent colours hanging over a patch of bushes, and there, in its midst, the Guily Bird stood feeding.
And a fantastic beast it was too. As tall as a man, its body was a brilliant scarlet colour like flame. On its head was an irridescent blue comb like a cockerel's; its legs and beak were as golden yellow as the sun. The wings of this marvellous bird were mottled in turquoise, purple and green. But its tail - ah, its tail was even more amazing. Seven great feathers, each a colour of the rainbow, stuck out from it, and so intense were these colours that when the bird moved, the air behind it glowed in the most perfect hues of blue and green and purple and violet and indigo and orange and yellow and red that you can imagine.
The bird pecked at the berries on the bushes, and as it did so, our hero crept from rock to rock, closer and closer. Soon he was within twenty feet of the bird, sliding through the undergrowth like a snake. Suddenly the bird stopped pecking and looked round quickly, left and right, with its black beady eyes. Teran froze, not daring to breathe. The bird resumed pecking, and Teran resumed crawling. At last he was within a few feet of the tempting tail feathers. Gathering himself, he sprang! - and as he did so, the bird saw him and took off with a great squawk. Teran missed the tail feathers altogether but just managed to catch its feet in his mighty grasp as they rose over his head. The bird soared into the air, with our hero dangling beneath it.
Thus it came to pass that the land of Cymru was filled that day with rainbows, as the Guily Bird tried to shake my persistent ancestor off. It dunked him in the ocean, it scraped him over sharp rocks, it dragged him through the prickly tops of fur trees. But though battered and bruised and bleeding my ancestor clung on, for love of Delyth. At length the Guily Bird flew up and up and up to the very highest peak of Norgales, where, set on the topmost pinnacle, surrounded by perpendicular cliffs a thousand foot high, lay a huge nest made of branches and guano. The Guily Bird landed on its edge.
"Got you now," it squawked. "There's no way out of here if you can't fly, so you might as well let go."
"I can't!" cried Teran. "My girlfriend says I can't marry her unless I bring back three of your tail feathers so that she can become the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom!"
"Well, you can't have them. If my tail feathers are plucked, I die and then you'll never get down, will you?"
"But I've got to have them - I'm in love with her!"
"Huh. If I were you, I'd fall in love with someone less vain," remarked the Guily Bird.
"Fall in love with someone other than Delyth? Why, you must joking! She's the most beautiful girl in the village - the stars shine in her eyes, her voice is like a babbling brook, her bosom is as white as snowdrops..."
"Yes, yes, shut up," said the Guily Bird irascibly. "Look, I'll make this very simple for you. Either you let go of my legs, or I peck your eyes out. And then it won't matter if she's the most beautiful girl or the ugliest hag in the kingdom because you won't be able to see her. Got that?"
"I'll let go," said Teran promptly, and did so.
The Guily Bird flew into the air. "I might take you down if you say sorry and promise not to steal my feathers. But, on second thoughts, I think I'll leave you here to die. Your innards will make good eating in the winter months. Goodbye, fool!" And the Guily Bird flew away, trailing a rainbow behind it.
Teran lay miserably in the bottom of the nest. "All that work and effort and sacrifice for love of Delyth," he said to himself, "to end up here!" Something tickled his nose. "Here in this smelly bird's nest, full of twigs and droppings and... feathers?!"
Indeed, it was true. At the bottom of the nest were hundreds of feathers shed by the Guily Bird during its annual moult. Quickly Teran picked up three glowing tail feathers in red and orange and yellow and stowed them inside his jerkin. "Now all I need to do is to get down from here," he said to himself. He peered over the edge at the sheer one thousand foot drop that fell away on every side. Despair filled him. "No way down -unless you've got wings..." Thoughts of Delyth filled his mind, and with them came an idea. "Perhaps... perhaps I can make some!"
So he took some branches from the nest and tied them together with strips of bark, then he smeared the structures with guano and stuck the feathers to them, and finally he strapped them to his arms. Murmuring a prayer to the Thunder God, he launched himself from the pinnacle. And the Thunder God must have heard his prayer, for instead of plummeting to his doom, he glided through the air like an eagle. Exhilaration filled him as he saw the forests and fields of Cymru rushing past below him, and as he passed through a flock of startled crows he shouted "Look at me! I can fly better than you!"
The gods were to punish him for his presumption, however, for when he tried to flap his wings to take him home, he went into a spin that sent him fluttering and whirling towards the ground like a sycamore leaf. Frantically he tried to regain control, but to no avail. He went crashing through the tops of the trees like a bird winged in flight by an arrow; the wings were torn from his arms and he hit the ground with a thump that knocked all the breath from him. A few feathers drifted down beside him, to remind him that the gods had never intended that men should fly.
So Teran took many days to return to Llanoch-llyn, but each day was easier than the last, for he knew that with the three tail feathers in his jerkin he could marry his beloved. But when at last he came back to his home, the village was empty. Only a single person came to greet him.
"Arianwyn! Where is everybody?"
"They're off in the woods, celebrating a handfasting."
"Oh. Why aren't you there?"
"My father wouldn't let me go. He was angry at me for losing my whistle. It was a druid's birth gift, you see. I don't suppose you've still got it, have you?"
"No, I'm afraid not. But didn't you say he told you to give it to me?"
"I did. But he didn't."
"Then why..."
"Won't you have some bread? I baked it this morning."
Teran took the bread and ate it. "Arianwyn, whose handfasting is it today?"
"Oh Teran, I'm so sorry! It's Delyth's! You see this stranger, Aled ap Huin, came to the village, and you weren't here, and he was a headsman's son, and handsome, and, well... I tried to make her stay faithful to you! I really did!"
Then Teran sat and wept a little for his love that had proved so untrue. Then, taking out the three feathers, he said, "Well, I got these for her, but as she clearly doesn't want them any more, I suppose you might as well have them."
"Oh don't be silly, Teran! I don't want to be the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom!"
And Teran looked at her long and hard and said, "To me, you already are."
Then he placed the feathers in Arianwyn's hair, and instantly she was transformed into the loveliest woman in Cymru. Though in Teran's eyes she didn't change a bit.
A week later they were handfasted, and with Dai-lin's blessing and wealth, Teran and Arianwyn lived rich and happy lives to the end of their days.
As for Aled and Delyth... alas, their story does not end so well. For when they returned to Gorgorin, they found it destroyed by the anger of the Thunder God, and all Aled's wealth and property were gone. So they returned to Llanoch-llyn as paupers, and lived miserable and penniless lives until the ague carried them off.
Two morals of this story true, I'll now to you impart;
The first is that a pretty face does not imply a loving heart.
Contrariwise, the second moral of my lengthy tale
Is that the foulest flagon can conceal the finest ale.
Talking of which...
Mark Tolley 29/1/95
4109 words.