Mask Tree Rhymes
These are the rhymes I wrote for the mask tree game at the Midsummer Night's Dream party. They were pasted on the inside of masks that the guests had to wear. They could only take off their mask when someone else guessed who they were by asking questions to which the guest could answer yes or no. I'm sure that the world be relieved to hear that this is the nearest I have ever come to poetry...
A wicked man you brought to book
When you defeated Captain Hook.
...You are Peter Pan.
You notoriety was well earned
For you fiddled while Rome burned.
... You are Nero.
With your music you set the late sixties on fire
(But we'll never forgive you for "Mull of Kintyre"...)
... You are Paul McCartney.
The future your fame will ne'er destroy
For you composed an Ode to Joy.
... You are Ludwig van Beethoven.
An amazing Victorian lady-um,
It was you who came across radium.
... You are Marie Curie.
You wrote novels sharp and classy
With Colin Firth as Mr D'Arcy.
... You are Jane Austen.
You had a purpose dire and fell;
Alas poor Yorrick! you knew him well.
... You are Hamlet.
You entered the canon of nursery soothers
By commanding your forces in pointless manoeuvres.
... You are The Grand Old Duke of York.
You thought you were joining a governing tradition,
But now you are the leader of a powerless Opposition.
... You are William Hague.
You made Luke Skywalker rather sad
When you revealed you were his Dad.
... You are Darth Vader.
The voice of God spoke through your lips
'Till the English prepared you a stake with chips.
... You are Joan of Arc.
The Romans, who thought you weeny,
Almost lost to your Iceni.
... You are Boadicea (Boudicca).
In each adventure you upped the stakes,
With your gun and your whip and your fear of snakes.
... You are Indiana Jones.
Around Camelot you would prance a lot
'Till you fell in love with Lancelot.
... You are Queen Guinevere.
An assassin's bullet found your spleen
And all because you had a dream.
... You are Martin Luther King.
With your ark the Great Flood you utterly mastered,
And then you went out and got totally plastered.
... You are Noah.
'Gainst the British you fought with enormous persistence,
Without using arms but with passive resistance.
... You are Mahatma Ghandi.
A Galapagos trip and a pigeon collection
Gave you the concept of natural selection.
... You are Charles Darwin.
Over the British pop scene you tower,
Living exemplars (I suppose) of Girl Power.
... You are any or all of the Spice Girls.
Porky and Daffy you used to mock
With your calling card of "Neah, what's up Doc?"
... You are Bugs Bunny.
When the angel called, you needed no urgin',
And gave birth to a child while still a virgin.
... You are the Virgin Mary.
Though king of the gods, you fame chiefly rises
From seducing young ladies in animal guises.
... You are Zeus.
A Russian, a priest, a lover - all them
Were you (according to Boney-M...)
... You are Rasputin.
Your reign was the longest in British history
Why this should be remains a mystery;
Perhaps your secret, which has others confused,
Was that you were never, ever amused.
... You are Queen Victoria.
Up, up and away, faster than light,
Just watch out for the kryptonite.
... You are Superman.
On tape your glory never fades,
The king of Queen, who died of AIDS.
... You are Freddie Mercury.
In art your fame will last a while,
For you had a certain smile.
... You are the Mona Lisa.
You're famed for a rather messy divorce
And now you've come out against landmines, of course.
... You are Princess Diana.
Housewife, mother and megastar,
The truth is, you're not what you seem you are.
... You are Dame Edna Everage.
The Pope wouldn't let you divorce, you see,
And that's why you founded the C of E.
... You are Henry VIII (you are).